This Mother’s Prayer

For Courtney

I want to be the mother
at the playground
who skips and puddle-jumps,
light enough on my feet
to scamper after my children,
playing joyful, singing silly.

I want to be the mom
in the grocery store
pushing the cart full of quiet kids
who aren’t screaming for a cookie
or trying to escape
the screaming banshee they call Mama .

I want to be the mother who greets her children everyday
with a home-made cookie
and a clean house
and the smell of dinner on the stove
and fresh laundry
and a happy, excited, rested face
and energy to tackle homework
. . . and “mind your manners” . . .
. . . and “just two more bites” . . .
. . . and dishes,
and bath-time, bedtime stories . . .
. . . tooth-brush wrestling . . .

And I want to be the mama
who takes time to snuggle,
read the monkey story for the
35th night,
balancing a strict bedtime
with one more goodnight kiss.

And I want to be thin,
svelte
and sexy . . .
After all of the above!
I want to be the mother
who loves their father . . .
So they grow up to make
happy homes for their own families
and lasting love for themselves.

I want to know you, Lord,
in the seconds I find alone
and undistracted.
I want . . . to be PERFECT.
Although I know I’m not.
And I long to love them all
the way You love me,
with patience and kindness
and an everlasting sense of humor.

So if I accomplish all of these things or none. . .
HELP ME to remember
That what I want to be
CAN’T COMPARE to who I already am in YOU.

TK Arthur
January 2012