Red Vine Spirituality

Taylor K. Arthur balances Bipolar 1 Disorder, marriage, and motherhood with a nitty-gritty faith inspiring a twisted, blissful life.

Category: Nitty Gritty Marriage (page 1 of 5)

How to Know when God is on the Move

Do feel trapped in a hopeless situation? Do you feel like there’s no way out, and God’s forgotten you? Do you wonder if there is any hope for your broken marriage, your upside down finances, your stalled career, your dissolved dreams? Well, come join me at the table, friend, and let’s reevaluate your position. From where I’m sitting, your story’s just starting to get good. Continue reading

Sharing this Promised Land Life with You

When life has been hard for a long time, it gets more and more difficult to believe that it can be better. But, we at Red Vine refuse to give into that notion. We believe in the God who brings us through the wilderness, providing all the way, into the Promised Land. We believe we serve a good Father, a Father who works all things together for our good. Our hope for a Promised Land life will not be in vain, and We will behold our Lord in the land of the living, yielding fruit for our labor and rest for our spirits. Continue reading

Taking Time to Be Friends in The Midst of A Hectic Marriage

Do you remember when you and your spouse were friends, back before dating and rings and mortgages and doctor bills? Do you remember in the beginning, when spending time with your spouse was more important than going to bed on time? After years of working hard and birthing and raising a family, my husband and I still loved each other deeply. But, we had forgotten how to be friends. Here’s how my husband and I revived our friendship and strengthened our marriage in the midst of our hectic life. Continue reading

When Your Marriage Needs A Miracle

When your marriage needs a miracle, start by remembering that your marriage is a covenant, not a contract.

And [Jesus] answered and said to them, “Have you not read that He who made them at the beginning ‘made them male and female,’ and said, ‘For this reason a man shall leave his father and mother and be joined to his wife, and the two shall become one flesh’? So then, they are no longer two but one flesh. Therefore what God has joined together, let no man separate.” Matthew 19:4-6

My Aunt Mary recently told me how she and her sister, Ann, sat in the family pew at our wedding, holding hands and praying. She recounted at how they looked at each other and whispered, “Do they have any idea?”
Continue reading

Upon your wedding day

So the day is finally here when the babies of our two families take their steps to the altar and become their own family. There is much to say, much to remember on this holy and blessed day, a day I must confess I have been dreading for over a decade.

What to say on this day to the boy I’ve known since our kid hood, since you visited us during our college Christmas vacations in the teeny-tiny apartment on Mission, playing Canadian rummy and taking shots of tequila until we fell out of our chairs? Remember the Christmas Eve masses when Jack told us we were going to hell because we kept falling asleep? 

We have laughed and cried together. We have planned funerals and decorated wedding suites together. We have had too many bottles of wine on our back patio, too many “conversations” on the front porch. You were one of the only people kind enough to “sit” with me when I was too sick to be alone.  We have fought like siblings do. We have talked it out, worked it through, kissed and made up. Because we are a family, brothers and sisters, and we live these most important moments together, for better or worse.

Now you are starting your own family, and the boyish naivete I once envied in you is now swallowed up by the worries and responsibilities of a husband. You speak of mortgages, children, supporting a family. And I have thought a lot about what it is I should say to you on this day. You’ve heard me scratch like a broken record, trying to tell you how much harder marriage is than you think it will be. I’ve wanted to be honest and real with you so that when you do struggle, you don’t feel alone. And, you know that every marriage has it’s crucial points, points when you want to cut and run. Here in this room are the people who will be here for you. Here are the people who will take your babies so you can get a night away. Here are the friends who have struggled, too. Here are the ones who share a stake in your new family holding together. We will be here for you. You do not have to do this alone.

But what I really want to tell you today, is this: Close the door.

When you come home at night, when jobs are tough and there’s people drama, when there’s not enough money or not enough time and you feel that the world is demanding too much, come home and close the door. Make a conscious choice to leave everyone outside that door, every worry and every stress, and purposely make each other your home and safe place.

Jack and I have seen a lot of hard days, but closing the door, whether it’s in a dingy apartment in the poor part of town, or in a half remodeled house, or in our 5×10 parents’ room in the pediatric intensive care unit, purposefully closing the door and coming home to each other has been our saving grace.

There will be many moments when it’s easier to bring everything inside, and fill up your home with worry and “honey do’s” and burdens. It may even feel good to spew the anger and frustration over life events all over each other. But then, where is your safe place?

Find shelter in each other. Be kind to each other, build each other up, so that your shelter is strong when the winds come.

And when you’ve closed that door? Laugh. Laugh and love each other well.

In Song of Solomon, the bride says of her husband,
Let him lead me to the banquet hall,
and let his banner over me be love.

He says to her,
You are altogether beautiful, my darling;
there is no flaw in you.
Arise, my darling,
my beautiful one, come with me.
See! The winter is past;
the rains are over and gone.
Flowers appear on the earth;
the season of singing has come,
Arise, come, my darling;
my beautiful one, come with me.

So to you Ben, and your altogether beautiful Bride. The season of singing has come.  May the banner over your marriage be one of love and laughter, a shelter for each other’s hearts. I love you.


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