Do you ever feel like you’re hitting the same wall again and again? That no matter how spiritual you think you’ve become, no matter how much counseling you get, you just keep making out with the pavement? Yeah. Me, too. But there’s hope. Therefore lift your drooping hands and strengthen your weak knees, and make straight paths for your feet, so that what is lame may not be put out of joint, but rather be healed. Hebrew 12:12-13 Continue reading
Mordecai told them to reply to Esther, “Do not think that in the king’s palace you will escape any more than all the other Jews. For if you keep silence at such a time as this, relief and deliverance will rise for the Jews from another quarter, but you and your father’s family will perish. Who knows? Perhaps you have come to royal dignity for just such a time as this.”
Esther 4:15-16 Continue reading
When I started thinking about writing this Thanksgiving post, I almost wrote my manager to let her know I’m not qualified to write about mental illness in the family. Do you know why? Because I feel like a fraud. My family relationships are not all cleaned up and pretty like I’d like them to be. Rather, the messiness in my family amplifies as we make plans for the holidays. I want to wave a magic wand and make all of my relationships work, if only on these special days.
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I could almost feel the whisper of hypomania pulsing through my veins last weekend as my family and I rolled through the Starbucks drive-thru. I squealed with excitement as the green aprons passed me my steaming red cup. As I sipped my red cup of eggnog and espresso, I couldn’t help but hope that my usual upswing was on its way. I look forward to my Christmas high–to actually feeling good–all year long. Christmas is so much fun. But is hypomania really a good thing for my family? How can I navigate through my bipolar disorder to have a magical and peaceful holiday season?
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Be completely humble and gentle; be patient, bearing with one another in love. Make every effort to keep the unity of the Spirit through the bond of peace.
Ephesians 4:1-3 NIV
It was 11:30 at night, and I was deeply asleep. All of a sudden I heard, like a tickle I couldn’t ignore, “Mama? Mama?”
It was quiet and harmless at first, but slowly a little voice calling my name pulled me from my cozy slumber, out of my bed, and down the hallway toward the boy’s room.
The source of the tickle was Samuel, laying sideways in his bottom bunk with one leg propped up on the bunk bed ladder, lounging as if he were sitting next to a pool instead of systematically waking his family up in the middle of the night.
Let me just say: I was already perturbed.