Red Vine Spirituality

Taylor K. Arthur balances Bipolar 1 Disorder, marriage, and motherhood with a nitty-gritty faith inspiring a twisted, blissful life.

Welcome to the Red Vine table, friend.

Welcome to Red Vine Spirituality, a home for those of us who are just a little too gritty for the trite, clean lines religion wants to draw down the middle of our faulty hearts. Together, one bleeding, joyful day at a time, let’s find a way to live a full life, a free life, a hopeful life . . . abundantly more than just a perfect life. Allow me to tell you the story of how a straight-A good girl morphs into a mental patient who can’t shave her legs without a chaperone, and how a broken-hearted mama finds redemption in loving a broken-hearted child.

I have been swallowing lithium every morning and night for thirteen years in an attempt to find stable, learning achingly slowly that a diagnosis does not diminish my capacity to serve this world for good. Grace comes to me through spilt blood alone, from a Jesus I professed to follow but never understood until I split rock bottom, splintered clean out, needing more than a new banner and a perfect score card to fix me. Jesus speaks to me and to you in John 15: I am the vine; you are the branches. If you remain in me and I in you, you will bear much fruit; apart from me you can do nothing. And I know I am grafted to Him through his own doing and nothing of my own. Through this spectacular connection, I am given daughter rights.  I rise up with a new banner stained in His salvific blood and cry, If He can do this for me, what will he do for you?

What will He do for you, friend? Let’s discover it here together. Let’s write in between the lines of our humanity and sweat out our fears; let’s lay it down deep in our shadow valleys and endless wastelands. Let’s believe that our lives and souls are meant for more than clean lines. Let’s live out our nitty-gritties and find His twisted bliss. ‘Cause it’s all twisted back and forwards again, but I live one fantastic, brag-worthy tale of grace right here on Red Vine. This daughter’s got a nitty-gritty resurrection story to tell. And I’d love to hear yours.

Welcome to the table.

Humbly,
Taylor

Welcome to the Red Vine table, friend

3 Comments

  1. Not sure how to follow your blog but loved your heart mama post on congenital heart defect.
    Love,
    A new heart mama

  2. Hi Kay,
    I read your blog on the Grace Alliance website. I recently went through a deep period of depression that was very confusing for me as a Christian. I believe that I am coming out, and I am sleeping better and have more energy but from time to time I still feel very far away from God and guilty, even though I honestly have done nothing wrong. Have you experienced this ? Is this normal during recovery ?

    Sincerely,
    Jenny Smith

    • Hi Jenny,

      Oh my goodness, have I experienced this! I have spent years thinking God forgot about me and wondering why. That is all the depression talking, sister. Don’t listen to it! He is right there with you in the pit. I read the Psalms when I feel this way. David felt it, too. Do not give up. He holds you, adores you, and is pulling you out. If you have time, scroll through the Living with Bipolar Disorder category. So many of my blog posts are about this very thing.

      God bless you,
      Taylor

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